5 Things No One Tells You about Natural Childbirth (our Homebirth Story)

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5 Things No One Tells You about Natural Childbirth (our Homebirth Story)

If you’re hoping for a natural childbirth, maybe even considering a home birth, here are some natural childbirth tips and a few important things you may like to know, contemplate or consider.

I’ll never forget the moment our midwife handed me our baby whilst still sitting on our toilet. Yes, I delivered him on our ensuite bathroom toilet in our home, which isn’t quite aligned with that kinda romantic ideal of a home birth. But perfect none the less!

Eleven days overdue, and I decided it was TIME!

It’s not that I was uncomfortable in any way, but had been told by our midwife that if we didn’t deliver within the next couple of days she was strongly recommending an induction and hospital birth, which we REALLY didn’t want. (I explain my reasons for this below)

 

Over the previous week, I’d had acupuncture, massage & used aromatherapy, walked for miles, eaten spicy food, the works! He was still happy in there.

So it was time for the castor oil!

(Note that I’m not recommending castor oil as a general remedy to bring on labor. I know my body and my tolerances and I understood the potential side effects. It can be useful, but please do your research before going this way)

I took a decent dose at around 8 pm on a Saturday night and we settled in to watch a good movie.

I started getting a few gripey pains within an hour or so, nothing crazy. Within about another half hour I couldn’t deny that yes, these were labor pains.

And it begins

I decided to go into our bedroom/birthing suite where I had set up a double foam mattress, yoga ball, oil burner, music & bag of tricks. I had some time stretching and relaxing while my partner started to organize the birth pool and called our midwife to give her a heads up since she was 2 ½ hours drive away.

My contractions were kind of all over the place initially then they started getting closer together & it became harder to talk.

 

  1. Childbirth is a very internal process

A natural birth (particularly a home birth) allows you the time and space to go within, connect to your body and FEEL your way through the process.

I can only imagine that this must be quite difficult to do in a hospital ward with different people talking to you, in an environment not very conducive to a peaceful connected process.

Not to mention being at home allows you the space to MOVE freely.

 

 

I spent most of my time in labor on my hands and knees, moving, swaying and stretching my hips open, resting on a yoga bolster. The pushing stage was VERY active for me, but I’ll get to that.

Some hospitals and birthing centers are becoming more supportive of women being free to move around whilst in labor, and more sensitive when it comes to lighting, which is great …

But …

  1. Induction will often have consequences

Keep in mind that if you have an induction for any reason, that you’re then usually bed-bound for a large part of the process, plus the chances of intervention are largely increased.

Most often this is because the Pitocin has interfered with the bodies natural process and production & release of the hormones that regulate the birth process. The pain is often intensified, becoming more unbearable, commonly leading to an epidural.

Then that further increases the chances of a forceps delivery, possibly caesarian, … and wow how did that happen?! You’ve lost total control of what is supposed to be a beautiful and empowering natural process.

Overdue?

Women have inductions for various reasons but commonly it’s due to concerns when baby is overdue. Sometimes due dates are miscalculated and there’s no issue but often it’s because mums are holding on for some reason.

For me, it was believing that he was safer in there than he was out here!

I believe (on an emotional level) that the world is unsafe so I wanted to keep him where I had control and could keep him safe.

So it’s worth exploring what your fears are and why you might be holding on.

Starting to own and explore and talk about the fear is often enough to start shifting it. Far better that than having a highly interfered-with birth process, and risking complication because of it.

 

Back to the story …

So by this time, I was REALLY wanting to get into the birthing pool and I still feel that if I’d been able to, I probably would have given birth that night!

But our midwife was bringing the pool liner which she felt we needed, and without it, we couldn’t even start to fill it!

In hindsight, and if you ever find yourself in a similar position, FORGET the pool liner, it actually isn’t THAT important!

I had a bit of an attachment to giving birth in the water, so I was unconsciously holding back, and labor started to slow down. How I longed for that water!

By the time the midwives arrived and they began filling & heating the pool, I was tired. When finally I entered that blissful warm water I just wanted to float off to sleep.

A midway Pause & the effect of Fear

When the sun started to rise, my oxytocin bottomed out and I must’ve accidentally pushed the pause button. Everything stopped, even though I was quite dilated.

Then there was nothing. All day!

Amazingly I maintained dilation the whole day and slowly started to labor again by nightfall.

But it was slow, and our baby had been sitting very low in my pelvis for a LONG time, so our midwife started monitoring him more closely.

Within an hour or so his heart rate told her we needed to move things along so she decided that breaking my waters would relieve some pressure and get things moving.

And yes it did, but Zyahs slight distress had triggered my fear which made my oxytocin levels go down which made the pain level go up!

 

  1. Childbirth doesn’t have to be painful.

I learned this from my experience. Up until that point, I was managing the sensations REALLY well. It was intense but by using sound and movement I was able to keep it to an intense sensation and out of the pain arena.

As soon as my fear was triggered that changed!

So I got to experience how we could go right through childbirth without suffering if we can maintain an openness emotionally.

Because it actually wasn’t the fear itself that was the problem. It was the fact that I resisted feeling the fear fully. I was holding onto it, which caused my body to contract, causing pain.

 

 

I have no idea how long it took to get to transition, but towards the peak of it, my midwife suggested that I get into a deep squat position. So I tried but it intensified the pain so I resisted.

She told me that this was exactly where I needed to go and I knew she was right. She rigged up a sling over the door frame for me to hold onto, resting my back onto my partner in between intense contractions.

Huge rushes of energy pulsating through me.

I was grateful to feel free to express freely through each intense rush.

Transition!

Then came the point when I let go completely, 100% surrendered to the sensations and expressed the intense emotion fully, even just for a few moments.

But it was enough. My body started to fully open and into feeling like I wanted to push.

At around this point, my midwife suggested I go to the toilet before pushing him out.

What!? You can’t be #%* serious, you want me to walk to the toilet, NOW?!!!

But I thought there must be a reason for the madness, so I did my supported waddle, and just about as soon as I sat down, whoosh!! He was coming! My body was doing it all automatically.

My pelvis expanded beyond what I thought possible, and out he came, into the arms of the fastest midwife, supporting me to take him.

I’d only had him in my arms for a few moments before whoosh, out came the afterbirth, just about as fast as Zyah had whooshed out sucking his thumb!

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  1. You don’t have to physically push.

In fact, it’s better if you don’t. Your body just does it. Pushing actually contracts the body and can make it harder, and increase chances of tearing.

Breathing and mindset are the key here – cultivating a feeling of allowing yourself to expand and open, rather than pushing and straining.

“Our society has a bad case of chronic “Birth Constipation”, and all our straining and pushing and yelling and forcing the process isn’t helping anything. Maybe we just need to teach mamas to breathe, relax and patiently wait until it all comes out in its own time…” Lauralyn Curtis

By the way, the reason for the madness was that my midwife knew that squatting on the toilet would help him out, though I don’t think she expected it to work so quickly!

 

 

  1. A long labor is OKAY!!

Allow it to unfold as it needs to be.

In hospitals, first-time moms generally have three hours to push their baby out if they’ve had an epidural, two if they haven’t, and beyond that, they’re thought to be experiencing a prolonged second stage of labor.

Then, healthcare providers will often push for a C-section or an assisted delivery with a vacuum or forceps.

A recent study found that when women were given just one more hour to push, C-section rates went down by roughly half.

I’m thankful to have had a midwife who had faith in my individual process, respected my preferences every step of the way, and afforded us the time needed to journey through our birth in our own way.

 

 

The magic of home birth is that it gives the power back to the woman and the wisdom of our bodies that were perfectly designed to birth OUR way, not necessarily the way currently pushed onto us by the medical establishment.

Have faith in the design of the female body. The knowledge of how to give birth successfully is in our design, in our cellular memories.

Zyah, around 9 hours old

Is home birth actually safer?

I really enjoyed this article by Kelly Brogan MD who believes it’s not possible to have a truly natural birth in a hospital. Kelly lists some good points about why a home birth is actually SAFER.

She says ‘…the consciousness of the hospital is about managing, suppressing, dominating the body...it’s about fear.’

Personally, I respect the individual choice of every woman. Each to their own, and I do understand why many women want to take the middle road.

Fear can be a powerful beast if we give it that power.

 

Working with Fear

The far better alternative is to recognize fear for what it is – just another emotion. Emotions are transient, energy that is meant to be expressed, to pass through us. Energy-in-MOTION.

Emotions only become real when we allow them to be stuck inside us, living in them.

We express fear with connected, diaphragmatic breathing, vocalising, letting the body shake & move.

 

Want to prepare for a Natural Birth?

Check out this wonderful online Natural Birth Course.

This is the course that will equip you with all the information, resources and inspiration you need to prepare yourself for the best experience possible.

Genevieve & Maura have helped hundreds of women achieve life-changing natural births.

One last tip I highly recommend is to sign up for this free Natural Pregnancy Week by Week guide, based on your due date. This is the only one I’ve come across which gives you pregnancy updates from a natural perspective and supports you to prepare for your best natural birth.

You may also like to check out my article What I Wish I Knew When I was Pregnant

 

What about you?

I’m curious about you, maybe you want to share something about your own birth journey. 

What did you learn? What helped you the most? Or maybe you’re expecting your first? What is important to you? Please comment below 

May your future birth journeys be empowered and full of love xo

 

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2018-07-07T10:51:16+00:00

About the Author:

Sam Sundara is the creator of Holistic Mumma, a passionate writer, health coach, educator, and mum. With a background of 18 years as a natural therapist, in community services & counselling and a passion for spiritual psychology, Sam offers a holistic view to parenting & wellbeing.

13 Comments

  1. Kristen July 5, 2018 at 2:18 pm - Reply

    I think it is so important that women are taught more about the emotional side as you mentioned, and how to experience and work though those feelings, and how fear can have physical effects. No one told me this when I prepared for my first child. Learning ways to relax and guide your mind through are key. I know this because of how difficult it was NOT knowing this with my first birth. I figured I would just get an epidural and no pain! Boy was that wrong. You still have to manage pain while you wait for it and even then it may not work. I always had to have certain interventions due to preeclampsia (pitocin for induction, etc.), so my situation was a little different. My third birth I did not have an epidural. It was an incredible feeling afterwards!

    • Sam Sundara July 6, 2018 at 12:15 am - Reply

      Thanks so much for sharing that Kirsten. Absolutely!! Women are largely unprepared emotionally for such an emotionally intense, confronting & opening experience. I bet it was an incredible feeling after your first 2 experiences! Yes the elation is phenomenal, knowing that you did it all on your own, and that incredible natural rush of endorphins 😀

  2. Kaitlyn April 12, 2018 at 12:59 pm - Reply

    For any woman who is having a hospital birth or induction, I do want you to know it is not impossible to have an otherwise natural birth. I also found the key was muscle relaxation and overall relaxation, although admittedly I work in the medical field so hospitals aren’t very exciting or scary to me. Your body was designed to do this, so relax and let it do it’s thing, it knows what to do, just like really any other natural bodily function. Just find a way to relax, any way you can, and have your husband or birth partner be your advocate and fend unwanted things off.
    I had pitocin, the doctor broke my water (which is what REALLY got everything moving), labored for only 7 hours as a first time mom (check-in to baby out), and pushed for 20 minutes max (which was a bit quick and did require an episiotomy, not my favorite part, but I trust my OB and have no long-term issues so I’m positive it was the right call). No pain meds until motrin post-delivery. No walking either (severe SPD pain, I relaxed better on the bed with The Hangover 3 in the background, and the whole IV thing made it a pain), but I did use a yoga ball. I’m 26 weeks pregnant and I’m hoping for the exact same birth this time around (minus the episiotomy, wasn’t my favorite, and probably a different movie). Just don’t let being in the hospital make you give up right away, you CAN do it otherwise naturally.

    • Sam Sundara April 15, 2018 at 11:10 am - Reply

      Thanks so much for sharing your story Kaitlyn! Hope you have a beautiful experience & find a great background movie! 😀

  3. Brianna March 3, 2018 at 2:08 am - Reply

    The single biggest advice I got when I was pregnant with my first, was that my body knew what it was doing and it will get the baby out. I was able to have a natural birth without really doing more than relying on my body. I am very thankful to have birthed at a birthing center that believes in eating and moving during labor. I birth a 9.5 lb baby in less than 12 hours!

    • Sam Sundara March 3, 2018 at 10:04 am - Reply

      Beautiful Brianna! The power of the truth! Sounds like you had a great experience in a relaxed and supportive environment. Yay!! 😀

  4. Myriam March 2, 2018 at 1:04 am - Reply

    This is such an inspiring post! You’ve managed to put into words so many of the indescribable sensations that occur during birth, I’m amazed! Such a valuable read, thank you xx

    • Sam Sundara March 3, 2018 at 10:00 am - Reply

      So glad you enjoyed it Myriam! It IS hard to put into words, such an epic experience, I feel like I could never do it justice with words really, but I’m really glad it connected with you somehow xo

  5. K March 1, 2018 at 7:46 pm - Reply

    My first birth, full of fear, in a hospital took 3+ days. 15 months later, I had a natural home birth. Labour lasted 8 hours and baby was born 2 hours after midwife arrived (6cm to birth in 2 hours!!!!). All because I was relaxed, felt safe and there was no fear. I would never have another hospital birth

    • Sam Sundara March 3, 2018 at 9:57 am - Reply

      Wow! I hear similar stories so commonly, but it never fails to amaze me – the power of an emotionally supportive environment. Beautiful! Thanks for sharing K x

  6. Gerdine February 27, 2018 at 11:16 am - Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing! I loved how you described your journey. Here in the Netherlands home births are quite common but I still love to read these stories. I hope that I can take your wisdoms with me for my next delivery in June!

    • Sam Sundara February 28, 2018 at 9:19 am - Reply

      Thanks for connecting Gerdine! How wonderful to hear that home births are fairly common in the Netherlands, this makes me want to visit! Much love to you and best wishes for a beautiful, empowering and deeply connected birth experience x

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